Have you Thought about 'What If?'

I recently had a social event along with  my neighbors. We got around to talking about ‘What If’ scenarios because we were discussing our age.  It seems everyone thinks nothing is going to ever happen to them that is bad unless we are very old.  Of course, bad things happen to good people every day.  I mentioned to my neighbor. ’If only we had a crystal ball!’  Well, we don’t.  I asked if they had a Living Will, or as some call it, ‘Durable Power of Attorney.’  My friend said, well, it’s terrible!  We don’t even have a will!’  Of course, we all believe nothing ever will happen to us so we put off these things.  And we take life for granted!  And...we're busy.

I asked her, ‘What if your husband here got into a serious car accident and was paralyzed, needed to breathe on a ventilator for life and get fed with a feeding tube?’  She shuddered and said she didn’t like talking about it. I also asked: ‘What if he was comatose in an ICU and was not likely to survive, would he want to continue to live, even though we may have no idea the pain he might be in?’   This seemed to give them food for thought.  Well, they are not alone.  Her husband acknowledged that these discussions are probably valuable to have.  I supported him on that thought.

So if you have not given thought to things like these, today is a good day to start thinking about it.   Think about this:  You are the patient in the bed, in pain,  not likely to survive, and you cannot tell anyone.  Nor have you ever talked about these things to any of your family.  You think it can’t happen to you?  It happens every day to good people.  Think about it.  Talk about it.

Wow!  It’s been a while! I am still busy practicing at the hospital, learning and observing.  One of my goals each day I work is to chat with the family of my patient and understand what they and their family member really wants.  Often I am dealing with elderly patients.  I know we all think we’ll live forever, but like a machine after many years, we wear out.  Even though we have many tools we can use to help people get better, or get ‘over the hump’ of surgery, sometimes it is just too much for us. 

So what should the considerations be then?  First and foremost, there should be little or no pain and suffering.  Problem is, we cannot often talk with those that are seriously ill.  They can’t tell us they are in pain.  So that’s all the more reason why we should think it through and consider the reality of the situation.  This is where an expert Advocate comes in.  This is where we should talk about end of life comfort, or the possibility of recovery.   Frank discussions of medical possibilities, or none is paramount here.  So talk about ‘What if” scenarios with your family.  It is difficult, but important.  Would you want to be in pain, unable to recover but unable to tell anyone?

I’m also delighted to mention I have been invited to speak at the World Conference on Nursing in Dubai this month!

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